New South African Animals - Jokingly
- Alf
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Re: New South African Animals - Jokingly
Eish
Next trip to the bush??
Let me think......................
Let me think......................
- Richprins
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Re: New South African Animals - Jokingly
Lesser Japanese Generator Pangolin (Yamahaii Monotonus spp.)
Habitat: Commensurate to that of the Black-Winged Loadshedder, especially prevalent around decaying commercial areas, and suburban gardens.
Status: Alien invader species, introduced by local survivalist pioneers in the early 21st century to combat the spread of the Loadshedder.
Origin: East Asia.
Habits: Crepuscular and Nocturnal in nature, emerging to forage on the remains of the Economic Development fungus (Hardworkerae spp.)
Call: A continuous growl, continuing for 2 to 4 hours, serenading and delighting residents of South Africa. A true thrilling sound of the bush!
Diet: Yamahaii feed on ancient planktonic fossils from the Petrolia genus, excreting electricity and carbon dioxide gas in various proportions...an evolutionary marvel.
Family: Their closest cousin is the African Giant Diesel Generator Anteater (Gasturbinus Opencyclus), a largely sedentary local resident lately kept in captivity as a menagerie animal for the benefit and sustenance of various Azanian Tender Vulture species. Often confused with the similar Gargantuan Coalfeeding Mynah (See Azanian Tender Vulture).
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- Mel
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Re: New South African Animals - Jokingly
A loadshedder
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain amount of things. Right now I'm so far behind that I'll never die.
- Richprins
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Re: New South African Animals - Jokingly
If someone can provide photoshopped pics befitting...more than welcome!
Even a new species, I'll provide the writing....thinking of the taxi bustard at the moment!
Even a new species, I'll provide the writing....thinking of the taxi bustard at the moment!
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- Richprins
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Re: New South African Animals - Jokingly
The Greater Feral African Taxi Pig (Toyotus Insufferabillus)
Taxonomy (Ironically): Not to be confused with the Lesser African Taxi Workhorse (Reliabillus Stopgapperus), a common Southern African ancestor well-documented since the previous century, non-predatory and relatively harmless.
Status: Endemic Genetic Mutant.
Biology: Immune to normal natural controlling factors such as Lawenforcementus and Politicalwillus spp. Unique regarding its genetic mutation, in having a brain composed almost entirely of granite. It is often in an extremely poor state of health, due to neural limitations, but this is not a drawback, as Toyotus only ponders living for 24 hours, and is happy to begin the next cycle, should that opportunity arise.
Habitat: Toyotus may be found throughout South Africa, more so in urban areas. Largely confined to biomes based on asphalt substrates, and may be viewed easily from most tar roads. They congregate in feeding areas known as "ranks".
Diet: Toyotus feeds largely on various abundant Commuterus species, cornering them in the Ranks during group hunts.Toyotus is unique in the Animalia Kingdom in that it can ingest vast numbers of Commuterus in relation to its size, a phenomenon still being studied by scientists worldwide. Prey is not digested, rather regurgitated at odd intervals. Sustenance is received through a process known as "Rare Event High-Impact Dessication", whereby the host pig explodes or implodes and absorbs the prey, and nearby animals. This is an abnormal feeding mechanism, arising from the aberrant genetic makeup, and makes no evolutionary sense, which is why Reliabillus sp constantly transmorphs into Toyotus sp.
Habits: Toyotus is crepuscular, nocturnal, diurnal, fraternal, maternal, paternal, and hernial in habit. The pig may be seen at any time of day or night, in other words. It is an Alpha Predator, or at least believes itself to be so (another consequence of the granite brain...see Biology). During its daily migration between feeding points, it indulges in gratuitous dominant behaviour over other species sharing its environment, often incurring the wrath of the Irate Legitemate Roaduser Bird (Taxpayerus Gatvollus), for example...
Predators: Toyotus can exhibit fratricidic tendencies, whereby it consumes its own species. Other predators include the African Big truck Elephant (Surprisinglyus Notgettingoutofyourwayus), and the web of the Overspeeding Spider (Inevitabillus spp)
Display: Toyotus uses unique photovoltaic appendages, flashing lights at other species, indicating threat display, or blinking orange lights from separate appendages, a warning that it is entering what scientists call "Sudden Inexplicable Deity Syndrome", whereby the pig elevates itself to Superalpha Predator status. This last form of behaviour is also unique to the animal kingdom, but issues a stern warning to other animals that Toyotus has advanced beyond normal Evolutionary constraints, and any further behaviour is in the realms of science fiction. Toyotus may also extend a hanging appendage from its front right orifice, behaviour still unexplained.
Taxonomy (Ironically): Not to be confused with the Lesser African Taxi Workhorse (Reliabillus Stopgapperus), a common Southern African ancestor well-documented since the previous century, non-predatory and relatively harmless.
Status: Endemic Genetic Mutant.
Biology: Immune to normal natural controlling factors such as Lawenforcementus and Politicalwillus spp. Unique regarding its genetic mutation, in having a brain composed almost entirely of granite. It is often in an extremely poor state of health, due to neural limitations, but this is not a drawback, as Toyotus only ponders living for 24 hours, and is happy to begin the next cycle, should that opportunity arise.
Habitat: Toyotus may be found throughout South Africa, more so in urban areas. Largely confined to biomes based on asphalt substrates, and may be viewed easily from most tar roads. They congregate in feeding areas known as "ranks".
Diet: Toyotus feeds largely on various abundant Commuterus species, cornering them in the Ranks during group hunts.Toyotus is unique in the Animalia Kingdom in that it can ingest vast numbers of Commuterus in relation to its size, a phenomenon still being studied by scientists worldwide. Prey is not digested, rather regurgitated at odd intervals. Sustenance is received through a process known as "Rare Event High-Impact Dessication", whereby the host pig explodes or implodes and absorbs the prey, and nearby animals. This is an abnormal feeding mechanism, arising from the aberrant genetic makeup, and makes no evolutionary sense, which is why Reliabillus sp constantly transmorphs into Toyotus sp.
Habits: Toyotus is crepuscular, nocturnal, diurnal, fraternal, maternal, paternal, and hernial in habit. The pig may be seen at any time of day or night, in other words. It is an Alpha Predator, or at least believes itself to be so (another consequence of the granite brain...see Biology). During its daily migration between feeding points, it indulges in gratuitous dominant behaviour over other species sharing its environment, often incurring the wrath of the Irate Legitemate Roaduser Bird (Taxpayerus Gatvollus), for example...
Predators: Toyotus can exhibit fratricidic tendencies, whereby it consumes its own species. Other predators include the African Big truck Elephant (Surprisinglyus Notgettingoutofyourwayus), and the web of the Overspeeding Spider (Inevitabillus spp)
Display: Toyotus uses unique photovoltaic appendages, flashing lights at other species, indicating threat display, or blinking orange lights from separate appendages, a warning that it is entering what scientists call "Sudden Inexplicable Deity Syndrome", whereby the pig elevates itself to Superalpha Predator status. This last form of behaviour is also unique to the animal kingdom, but issues a stern warning to other animals that Toyotus has advanced beyond normal Evolutionary constraints, and any further behaviour is in the realms of science fiction. Toyotus may also extend a hanging appendage from its front right orifice, behaviour still unexplained.
Last edited by Richprins on Thu Aug 27, 2015 12:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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- nan
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Re: New South African Animals - Jokingly
and with a donky... instead of a piggy
Kgalagadi lover… for ever
https://safrounet.piwigo.com/
https://safrounet.piwigo.com/
- Mel
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Re: New South African Animals - Jokingly
A cross between the Easter Bunny and the Piggy Bank.
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain amount of things. Right now I'm so far behind that I'll never die.