Bad Dudes and Dudettes: A Pop Quiz
Who Am I?
Please identify which "bad dudes/dudettes" are described below.
Winner gets…
... absolutely nothing, as this is not a skill that will aid your success in Life, but rather identifies you as one who wastes way too much of your time on inane and insignificant matters.
1. These moustache toting desperadoes are fast food connoisseurs, adept body snatchers, and accomplished alchemists. From their perch they watch for an intruder, intercept it in mid-flight and inject it with neurotoxic and paralyzing enzymes which liquify the prey's innards. It then drinks the contents of its virtual sippy cup and then discards the empty shell.
2. I, too, sport a dashing moustache, am a fast food connoisseur, an adept body snatcher, and intercept my prey mid-flight. I cause chaos and confusion, terrorizing many. Failing an outright catch, my midair body slam stuns my victim, knocking it to the ground where I finish the mission by biting its neck and severing its vertebrae.
3. While I may appear to have a sunny disposition, my bite is far worse than my bark. It is said, "You are what you eat", but most species don't eat what they are. I do. Cannibals don't command much respect, and while it is a Human taboo (THANK HEAVENS!), it is somewhat "common" in the animal kingdom, so humans aren't the only species with skeletons in their closet. For members of these species, “I’d like to have you over for dinner” is a terrifying invite.
Though I am a cannibal, I do have standards. They are quite low. In my defense, I more often eat members of my Class, but only rarely of my Species. And then just the juveniles.
4. I have a heavenly name due to my posture, suggestive of worship. But less angelic is my reputation as also being cannibalistic. We females, while the male is distracted by carnal desires, just may choose to behead him and eat him. And you really can't blame us for finding it hard to pass up an easy meal, right? So get off your high horses, people, you'd do the exact same thing if your males tasted as good as ours!
5. Unlike the others, I actually have credentials to prove I'm a really bad dude. The Guinness Book of World Records awarded me the title of "
World's Most Fearless Creature". I'm so tough that the South African army actually named their heavily-armored Infantry Fighting Vehicle after me.
I'm proudly audacious, pugnacious, and don't back away from a fight. I, too, have some secret weapon systems. I can quickly sleep off a venomous snake bite, awaken, and resume devouring my snake snack.
I also have a secret, er, secrete, weapon system that can throw a stink bomb your way if you really get me stressed.
Then I'll adorably trot off in search of my next victim. HA!!
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You gotta love "The Great Outdoors" - a place where we get to observe creatures participating in the Circle of Life by eating each other.