Born To Be Wild - An Untamed Travel Tale*

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Answers To Pop Quiz

1. These moustache toting desperadoes are fast food connoisseurs, adept body snatchers, and accomplished alchemists. From their perch they watch for an intruder, intercept it in mid-flight and inject it with neurotoxic and paralyzing enzymes which liquify the prey's innards. It then drinks the contents of its virtual sippy cup and then discards the empty shell.

Robber Fly

Some of the different Robber Flies I found this trip:

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2. I, too, sport a dashing moustache, am a fast food connoisseur, an adept body snatcher, and intercept my prey mid-flight. I cause chaos and confusion, terrorizing many. Failing an outright catch, my midair body slam stuns my victim, knocking it to the ground where I finish the mission by biting its neck and severing its vertebrae.

Lanner Falcon

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3. While I may appear to have a sunny disposition, my bite is far worse than my bark. It is said, "You are what you eat", but most species don't eat what they are. I do. Cannibals don't command much respect, and while it is a Human taboo (THANK HEAVENS!), it is somewhat "common" in the animal kingdom, so humans aren't the only species with skeletons in their closet. For members of these species, “I’d like to have you over for dinner” is a terrifying invite.

Though I am a cannibal, I do have standards. They are quite low. In my defense, I more often eat members of my Class, but only rarely of my Species. And then just the juveniles.

This seemed to be a difficult one: Cape Cobra







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NOTE: THESE WERE TAKEN IN THE KTP, BUT YEARS AGO, NOT 2015

A Cape Cobra extracting a Mole Snake from a burrow and devouring it. (its own "Class", Reptilia) From the literature I read, they DO eat Cape Cobras, but just the juveniles.

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4. I have a heavenly name due to my posture, suggestive of worship. But less angelic is my reputation as also being cannibalistic. We females, while the male is distracted by carnal desires, just may choose to behead him and eat him.

And you really can't blame us for finding it hard to pass up an easy meal, right? So get off your high horses, people, you'd do the exact same thing if your males tasted as good as ours!

Praying Mantis

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5. Unlike the others, I actually have credentials to prove I'm a really bad dude. The Guinness Book of World Records awarded me the title of "World's Most Fearless Creature". I'm so tough that the South African army actually named their heavily-armored Infantry Fighting Vehicle after me.

I'm proudly audacious, pugnacious, and don't back away from a fight. I, too, have some secret weapon systems. I can quickly sleep off a venomous snake bite, awaken, and resume devouring my snake snack.

I also have a secret, er, secrete, weapon system that can throw a stink bomb your way if you really get me stressed.

Then I'll adorably trot off in search of my next victim. HA!!

Honey Badger/Ratel

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Birds, Birds, and MORE Birds…ZZZZzzzz

Crowned Plover or Lapwing



Black-shouldered Kite

Groundscraper Thrush

Bateleur Eagle (Juv.)

Bateleur Eagle (Adult)

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Spotted Dikkop or Thick-knee w/ eggs


African Hoopoe with a Doodle Bug ( Lacewing Larva)


(Southern) Pied Babbler


Crimson-breasted Boubou or Shrike


(African) Red-eyed Bulbul


Secretary Bird

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Lilac-breasted Roller




(Southern) Pale Chanting Goshawks


Burchell's Sandgrouse
Is this an adult w/ chicks, or just different sized Sandgrouse?




Black-breasted Snake Eagle

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Last ones Each visit I try to get the Bee-eaters flying in/out of their burrows with food for their chicks, but the lighting seems to never be optimum. Always shadows, or the bird is turned "funny", etc. We didn't find any at all until the day before we were to leave, so didn't really get what I wanted, but it was still lots of fun trying.

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There are many misconceptions about Africa in general, and South Africa in particular, due to a general lack of knowledge on the part of those who have never visited either and perpetuated via the internet. For anyone contemplating a trip to Africa, this guide will address and clarify some of those issues.


Is it true that Africa is, in fact, incontinent?
No, but it is in fact, A CONTINENT.

It is widely believed that Humans originated in Africa, evolved, and moved out. Does that mean all the people still living in Africa simply haven't evolved to a high degree yet?
I'm not answering this one. What do you think I am, a Dummy?

The continent of Africa was formed many moons ago. How many moons ago?
It is not necessary to address this issue unless you're studying geology. Seeing that you are reading a guide for Dummies, I think it's safe to rule that out. Next question.

I hear conflicting descriptions of Africa. Is it is hot and dusty with rolling grasslands and huge herds of animals and tall, thin people who are starving? Or is it hot and steamy with very short people who eat primates?
Yes

There are two countries in Africa whose name tells you where they are located, since the good names were already taken. So if you have to ask "Where is South Africa located?", this guide is going to be way over your head and you'd probably have to answer, "No" to the question, "Are You Smarter Than A Corn Dog?"

Sorry you have wasted your time here. Move along to "America for Dummies", it's way more elementary.

If black people in America are called "African Americans", are white people in Africa called "American Africans"?
Only if someone gets really, really angry at them.

Next, let's address the elephant in the room.
"Sir, sir, Mr. Elephant!"
No, Dummy, it's people like you that belong here. Keep reading.

The question on everyone's mind: There are only black people in Africa, right?
The answer is, of course not. Africa, too, has albinos. Others have simply faded in the relentless sun, over time. So, no, not all Africans are black.

Since South Africa is the "Rainbow Nation", doesn't that mean there are pink, green, and blue people there?
No. Only pink and blue. The green ones live on one of the many, many moons ago that Africa was formed.

While on the subject of elephants, do they use elephant trunks as vacuum cleaners?
No, silly. They use them to pick the high fruit. The yield, however, is very, very low.

I hear South Africa has elephants the size of Switzerland, which is located in South Africa. Is that correct?
First, no, it's SWAZILAND that's located in South Africa.
Secondly, the elephant size comparison is an exaggeration, of course. Swaziland is nowhere near as big as most elephants.

Many American tourists get confused by the fact that when it's 5 PM in the USA, it's 12 midnight in SA, and if it's winter in the USA, it's the summer in SA, and want to know, if it's 2016 in the USA, what year is it in SA?
It's also 2016, as South Africa has come a long way in modernization, but they're still working on the time and season missteps.

Do they have electricity in South Africa?
Sometimes. The name of the electric supplier is EishKom. It is rumored to be exploring the power of moonbeams.

How do you say "Hello" in South African?
"Hello"

From which part of a monkey is "monkey gland sauce" made?
No one knows, it's a secret that dies with the monkey.

Baby lion cubs are SO cute, is it possible to pet them?
Sure. Someone will come and fetch your shoes later.

Do all South Africans have to hunt wild animals to feed themselves?
No. They have made progress in that area as well. They are all hunter-gatherer Vegans.

Why do they use mud and dung for building houses instead of bricks?
The local supply of bricks in some areas was exhausted following a series of smash-and-grabs.

I have read that there are many "game farms" in South Africa. Why do so many South Africans like to play Monopoly and Scrabble?
They are NOT places to visit to engage in an evening of family fun. However, they ARE the places that grow and harvest the pieces to such boardgames.

Since the import of plants or plant materials are not allowed, can South African women get their grass skirts through Customs?
No, they can't. They must be left at home in their mud and dung huts.

Is it true you have to duck down in your car while waiting at every traffic light for fear of being shot?
No. That only applies after soccer matches.

If there are so many "Hi-jack hotspots" in South Africa, why are there no policemen there to arrest them?
Good question.

It seems that Rangers and Trackers are truly gifted souls in South Africa. While zooming along a dirt road, they suddenly stop and point to a small patch of dirt that looks EXACTLY like all the other dirt. These experienced experts point to an invisible "footprint" and become overly animated. Just what information, if any, can they glean from these seemingly simple impressions in the sand?
These prints reveal not only what kind of animal made it, but also its gender, age, hobbies, credit rating, and Twitter name. Also the bank account #, if they are Nigerian.

If you believe the news media, everyone who visits South Africa is held up by either knifepoint or gunpoint. Sometimes both. On the same day. Is that true?
I can address this one from personal experience. In all our 22 years of visiting Africa, (21 years to South Africa), we have NEVER been held up by knifepoint, gunpoint, or needlepoint.

You are, however, 100% assured of being "killed with kindness" by the South African people, regardless of shape, size, economic level, or color. They are some of the most extraordinary people I have ever encountered, bar none.


So, GO! Have fun!!

There's absolutely nothing to be afraid of, except being eaten or trampled to death.