I hear insects are "coldblooded". What does that mean?
It means they could sneak up on you, stab you right through the heart, then go have a cold beer and pizza without another thought about you.
*
When Wooly Bee Flies mate, do they create static electricity?
Yes, and most, if not all, forest fires are caused by mating Walking Sticks.
*Shouldn't the Nursing Dung Beetle (Copris mesacanthis) be reclassified as a mammal?
No, but you should be reclassified as a Dummie.
*
Carebara vidua is an ant whose common name is African Thief Ant. Why do they only steal Africans?
You again? It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful.
*
Why is flypaper named that?
Because that's what you use to gift wrap a zipper.
*
If I step on a Thermometer Cricket (Oecanthus) will I get mercury poisoning?
No, but if you step on any cricket, you'll go deaf…
*Since grasshoppers are vegans, what do they eat?
Salads and animal crackers.
*
How did Earwigs get their name?
Because they live in the hair that grows out of old men's ears.
*
Why do some female praying mantis eat the male?
Most likely they deserved it.
*
How do ants reproduce?
By making baby ants.
*
That's not what I meant - live birth, etc?
Being part bird, they lay eggs.
*
Are flies without wings called walks?
Yes. And if they are also without legs they're called rolls.
*
Can an American Cockroach self-identify as a German Cockroach?
Yes, but not the other way around - you must always aspire upwards.
*
When a tick is embedded in an animal does it breathe out its butt?
No, they have tiny snorkels for this purpose.
*
Are insects head over heels when they're happy?
No, that's the way animals, including insects, normally are.
*
Wouldn't dragonflies be faster if they didn't zigzag?
Ay Yai Yai…yes, so would lightening.
*
When it's summer in the Kalahari do the insects need watering just like the plants?
No, unlike the potted fern who asked this question, and WILL need watering if your IQ drops any lower.
*
I am against insect repellent because I don't put poisonous chemicals on my skin. Are there any natural methods to keep mosquitos away?
Yes, plop a huge bullfrog on your head whenever you go outdoors. Don't forget to kiss it afterwards so your Prince Charming will spring forth.
*I often drive with my window down. Invariably, an insect, usually a fly, flies in. How can I solve this irritating habit of insects?
Whenever it flies in, IMMEDIATELy stomp on the brake, and the fly will splat against the front wind shield. So will your passengers, hence you will need a steady stream of new friends.
*
I see there are Pugnacious Ants, Small-headed Flies, and Large-headed Flies, among many others. This seems so insensitive. How would you like to be called a Know-It-All Fat Chick?
I see you've been talking to my Ex.
*
Why don't entomologists have a sense of humor?
Au contraire - take a gander at these
actual Latin names:
Pieza - A Genus of mythicomyiid fly:
Pieza pi (Pizza pie),
Pieza rhea (Pizzaria), and
Pieza kake (Piece'o cake).
Gelae - A Genus of fungus beetles -
Gelae baen (jelly bean),
G. belae (jelly belly),
G. donut (jelly doughnut), and
G. rol (jelly roll)
Heerz - A Genus of wasps -
Heerz lukenatcha (Here's lookin' at 'cha) and
Heerz tooya (Here's to 'ya)
Pison - A Genus of Central American wasp-
Pison eu (okay, you can do the phonetics on this one yourself…)
Whoa I gotta stop now, those wild 'n crazy zany bug nerds are killing me…..
